Peace in the Chaos
PUBLISHED IN JULY 2024
This month, I have found myself hugely challenged by the goings-on in life. Not just me but lots of people seem to be feeling the chaos of life; loved ones dealing with issues, bills to pay, earning a living, or maybe even facing our own health issues. The list goes on and never seems to end. I tend to find myself saying, "This won't last. Just get through this, and then it will settle." But it doesn't seem that way. More and more, it seems the chaos just continues, and there is always another challenge to face.
In these moments, I caught myself repeatedly saying, "Okay, what have I got to do now? What do I have to do? Who else do I have to call?" Wow, wait, what? A lot of 'have to...' 'got to...' going on. In NLP, this is called the 'Mode of Operating in Necessity.' This burns out our mental motor and leaves us feeling drained and overwhelmed. It's a constant state of urgency that keeps us on edge and reactive.

Shifting the Mindset
Recognising this, I decided to stop and take a breath. I returned to myself and set a new intention: to bring peace and calm to everything and everyone I met throughout the day. This simple shift in mindset was a game changer. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by my to-do list, I approached each task calmly and purposefully. I found that not only did I feel more at peace, but my interactions with others were also more positive and productive.
I also made a conscious effort to change my language. Instead of saying, "I have to..." I started saying, "I get to..." and "I want to... because...". This small change helped shift my perspective from one of obligation to one of gratitude. It made me realise that my life, although full, is full of things that have deep value to me and worth to the world.
Recognising this, I decided to stop and take a breath. I returned to myself and set a new intention: to bring peace and calm to everything and everyone I met throughout the day. This simple shift in mindset was a game changer. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by my to-do list, I approached each task calmly and purposefully. I found that not only did I feel more at peace, but my interactions with others were also more positive and productive.
I also made a conscious effort to change my language. Instead of saying, "I have to..." I started saying, "I get to..." and "I want to... because...". This small change helped shift my perspective from one of obligation to one of gratitude. It made me realise that my life, although full, is full of things that have deep value to me and worth to the world.
Finding Peace Amidst Turbulence
An example of the chaos of life is my dear friend Jo Lysaght. She has her own health issues, juggles a full-time business, holds down the fort while her business partner is away, and manages a son in the hospital for surgery while his wife is accompanying her grandma for cancer treatment with their two toddlers and her blind mother. Other loved ones in her life are also facing challenges, and there's the normal activity of daily life.
When I asked her permission to share her story, she said, "Wow, it does seem a lot when you say it all together, doesn't it?" And that isn't all that's going on.
In stark contrast to how she used to be, crumbling into a puddle of tears in the doctor's chair with him replying, "Should I admit you to the mental health unit?"
I asked how she now finds peace in the turbulence of life. For Jo, what helps is presupposing that if it has come into her life, she has the resources to deal with it.
The metaphor of swimming in the water comes to her mind: "This is the water I am swimming in now and the water supports." It helps her release the resistance to what turns up in life—letting go of the preference for things to be other than they are right now.
As Byron Katie says, there are three kinds of business: mine, others, and God's. Jo knows her business is to be loving alongside others, not to fix their life, and this takes the weight off her shoulders. Lovingly being there is more than enough.
This practice reminded me that peace is not something we find outside of ourselves, but something we cultivate within. It's a choice we make moment by moment, regardless of the chaos around us. By setting the intention to bring peace into every interaction and task, we create a ripple effect that can transform not only our own experience but also the experiences of those around us.
Mindset Practice to Develop Peace in the Mindts of Chaos
To help you cultivate peace amidst the chaos, here is a weekly mindset practice I have designed for you. For additional practices and tips, click here.

Practice Mindful Breathing
Take five minutes daily to focus on your breath and bring your attention to the present moment.

Set a Daily Intention for Peace
Each morning, affirm your commitment to approach the day calmly and kindly.

Mind Your Language
Pay attention to ‘have to’ & ‘got to’ and change it to ‘I get to’ and I want to because …’.

Reflect on Your Progress
At the month's end, journal about the changes you've noticed in your mindset and interactions.
In summary, life’s chaos is inevitable, but our response to it is within our control. By recognising the patterns that drain us and shifting our mindset to one of gratitude and calm, we can navigate challenges with greater ease. Whether through setting daily intentions, changing our language, or embracing the belief in our own resilience, we can find peace amidst the turbulence. Remember, cultivating inner peace is a continuous practice that not only transforms our own experience but also positively impacts those around us.

Deb Maes
Deb Maes, M.A. Comm is like a magician in the way she is able to discern the exact key to unlock more of the untapped potential in leaders.