The Power of Questions: Supporting Self-Discovery and Personal Growth
Enhance Your Personal Growth with the Power of Questions
FIRST PUBLISHED IN 2013 | LAST UPDATED IN MARCH 2022
Have you ever taken notice of how you respond to advice given to you? Whether you keep it to yourself, or you’re a little more vocal, it’s important to remember that another person’s solution can only be based on their experiences which, naturally, cannot fully match yours. We don’t like it for lots of reasons.
Another person telling us the answer doesn’t help us build our confidence in ourselves or enable us to discover our own resources. But as someone who wants to help change or enhance people’s performance, support them in discovering more resources, or just find more enjoyment in their lives - I confess: I still want to offer my help.
But how can we do that without giving advice? What most effectively enables this? What supports someone to discover their own internal resources and solutions?
The Effectiveness of Asking Questions for Personal Growth
The answer is as simple as ‘a question’… Well - not just one. Lots of questions!
Only a very small amount - some say less than 1%- of what we experience is available to us consciously. Luckily, much, much more is available just beneath the surface of our conscious thinking.
More good news? is that the underlying structure of our answer is revealed in our communication.
Therefore, by asking questions about what people say (and how their body moves) in their communication, they will discover this hidden treasure in themselves.
Unlocking Your Potential with the Right Questions
So, which questions are the right questions? There are lots of questioning tools that can help us access the deeper structure of the unconscious mind, such as: NLP Meta Model Questions, Clean Questions, Motivational Interviewing, Precision Questions, and Motivation in a Moment.
Here are a few examples:
- How do you know that?
- What would happen if you did?
- What will that allow you?
- For what purpose?
- What does that mean to you?
- What do you believe about that?
But what I have found most effective is genuine curiosity. Once you know that you cannot ever truly know the fullness of what another person is experiencing, you can be genuinely interested in how they come to say what they say and what it really means to them at a deep level.
The Art of Asking Questions
When you get curious, questions will come to you, and as you ask them respectfully and with permission, they will more fully explore beneath the surface.
As they do, they discover more truthfully the structure of their “problem” and the many possible solutions. And at the same time, you gain a fuller understanding and appreciation of them as a person.
This, in my experience, is a beautiful by-product of their self-discovery – one that makes my heart sing.
Conclusion
So, the question begs … Where will you use this powerful tool? Whether you're a coach, a mentor, a parent, or just someone who wants to support others in their personal growth, asking the right questions is a powerful tool that can unlock potential and lead to self-discovery.
By setting aside our own need to provide answers and instead focusing on asking questions, we can support others in discovering their own internal resources and solutions. The result? Greater personal growth, increased confidence, and a deeper understanding of ourselves and others.
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